High School

Looking back to all the times I had spent in high school, I couldn't help but smile. I've made it so far, sometimes I couldn't even believe it. All those tears that I've actually cried and all those nights of lack of sleep (can't say sleepless though) and I've finally made it through the damn stage. High school was mostly hell for me because I spent my final year counting days before the final day would arrive. I couldn't wait to finish school. Save me all the dramas, because I can actually meet all of my classmates and teachers outside of school. But the fact that no more high school issues will ever come in my way (except for the SPM result) anymore, its more than anything that I've ever wished for.

Those days when I feel like a complete failure, I still find a piece of myself, a version of myself finding an identity of my own. No matter how much I hate my high school life, I'm still happy to say that during those years I actually had found a piece of me that I believe I wouldn't if I wasn't here. It was hard for me admit this actually, but I opened up to a friend of mine a few days back. It's a bit funny, how I was actually sad thinking of the identity of mine I've found once, and now had lost. I wasn't even looking for it in the first place. It felt like serendipity, I might say. To find something so precious along the way of a journey where you wanted to end so bad. So when the end comes, you feel like you're gonna lose everything. And the worst is when you know that the chance of coming across something so precious like that again is very highly unlikely.

I believe that, human beings (correct me if I'm wrong) have this unchangeable way of living life. We tend to waste every moment, thinking we might have the same thing the next time. We wake up one day realizing we have now lost so much. And only then we would regret not having to cherish every moment we spent before. And knowing this much, it's funny how some of us make zero effort to change this. Maybe because we are going though something, we never know if it's our last time having it. We only know it when one day, we look back and realize it was then, our last time of having it, truly.

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