Posts

High School

Looking back to all the times I had spent in high school, I couldn't help but smile. I've made it so far, sometimes I couldn't even believe it. All those tears that I've actually cried and all those nights of lack of sleep (can't say sleepless though) and I've finally made it through the damn stage. High school was mostly hell for me because I spent my final year counting days before the final day would arrive. I couldn't wait to finish school. Save me all the dramas, because I can actually meet all of my classmates and teachers outside of school. But the fact that no more high school issues will ever come in my way (except for the SPM result) anymore, its more than anything that I've ever wished for. Those days when I feel like a complete failure, I still find a piece of myself, a version of myself finding an identity of my own. No matter how much I hate my high school life, I'm still happy to say that during those years I actually had found a pie
Post a Comment
Read more
Being a person who doesn't know what or who to become in the future totally sucks. I wish someone would sit down with me and actually talk about what being an adult is really about. Maybe because I hate small talks so much, they are just as shitty as they actually sound. I love having a purpose, like a purpose of talking, walking or breathing. It feels so wrong to feel like not having any purpose these days at all. It kills me that I don't really care about anything else these days, because I was a purpose-freak before. I won't do anything unless there's a purpose to it. But I wanted to be a writer, once, way back before. Maybe I'm writing a blog just to prove to myself that I'm not bad of a writer at all. Shit, that sounds so wrong at this moment. I hate the fact that I always want to prove something of myself to people around me so when I actually try to prove it to me, it feels so wrong, weird actually. I grew up watching people around me being successful
Post a Comment
Read more
Let's admit it. Most people signed up for a blog just because they wished they would find someone through writing a blog. Someone, worth talking to. And after years of having one, I realized that it's not true at all. I haven't found anyone at all through writing a blog. It's hard to face the fact that the only place that I can be myself is the place where nobody had ever recognized me at all. So, here I am. Still writing my heart out. Still hoping, childishly, for someone to come along the way and tell me that it's fine. It's fine to wish for something that is so impossible, as long as I still hope that a miracle will happen somewhere in the future. Ugh, sorry for the cheesy writing. I'm just that kind of person.
Post a Comment
Read more